RPG's: Some things I just don't get

I am a big fan of RPG's. That means "Role Playing Games" to the uninitiated. And, no, that's not the role-playing games in the bedroom (though, well, ahem, okay). It means video game RPG's--a la Dungeons & Dragons or Final Fantasy. GEEK ALERT!

This post will mean nothing to anyone who doesn't play video game RPG's, but here goes:

There are things that I don't understand about some of the "standards" of RPG's:

--Why does money weigh nothing? Some games have weight restrictions for its characters. But usually money weighs nothing. Do you mean I can carry around an 80 pound sword, but 30,000 gold pieces (or gil, or gp, or gol, or whatever the monetary unit is in the land) weigh nothing towards my total? I guess in every game, everyone has a "bag of infinite holding" for money. One example: Elder Scrolls: Morrowind. (Told you it was a geek alert!)

--The villains always seem astonished at being defeated by the hero. Why are villains astonished by being defated by the protagonist? (S)he always says: "How could you defeat me?" or something like that. Usually, it is the hero, along with his buddies who kills the boss. Just think about any street fight: when does a four-on-one result in the "one" beating the "four"? Only in RPG's.

--Are there any main characters who were studs to begin with? Why do all the stories involve farmboys who were dropped off at someones doorstep and must save the world through some cruel twist of fate? Don't any of these twists of fate happen to the best knight of the king, or any powerful wizards? Why is it just the teenage boys or girls?

--Why doesn't magic only hurt enemies? I've seen iceballs destroy entire rooms of enemies from the skies, but all my friends (or my "party") were okay.

There are more...I'll post them as I think of them...

Why the hype over the NFL draft? (I'm talkin' to you, ESPN!)

I just don't get it...why all the hype over the NFL draft? Every time I turn on ESPN these days (or cruise most sports websites), I see one of the NFL draft "experts" droning on about how this or that will affect so-and-so's standing. I think there is more analysis of this thing than there is on who is going to win the NCAA hoops tourney or the Super Bowl.

I understand that fans would like to see whom their teams are going to take. Heck, I'm interested in who Dallas is going to get. But c'mon, my life doesn't stop every time I read that they may take Dante Whitner or Marcus Macneil or Bobby Carpenter (didn't he play for the Washington Capitals?).

Each of these analysts thinks he is best one at knowing what each team needs and why. But they aren't privy to the front office discussions and don't have access to all the data and film these guys (the team guys) get. But, oh, no! The analysts are sure.

Almost any idiot can predict the top ten or fifteen guys. Who cares where they go? Sure the fans do. But I could probably make a case for Vince Young being picked by the Seahawks. It's called a TRADE!

Plus, I don't see any incentive for any of these people to be right. If they were talking about the above-mentioned NCAA's or Super Bowl (or the World Series or, hey, even the World Cup) people could make money on this stuff. Is there really a market for people gambling on the NFL draft? But what has being correct have to do with anything? Nothing about nothing!

Don't get me wrong. The actual draft can be pretty exciting to watch live. Anyone remember the team that missed two picks in a row due to slowness? And there's always the: "...and the number five pick has been traded to XYZ". No one knows what can happen. It's riveting TV. It's just the droning of these "experts" that gets me!

Why play sports? One word: Gear!

Why do we play sports? Some play because of the competition. Some for the exercise. Some for the fun of it. Some people like the camaraderie and some like to be outside. Some do it for the chicks (or the men).

I play sports because of one word: GEAR!

I am not a materialistic man; I do not have the need to buy or have tons of things. Other people need the latest and greatest of everything—a big house, HDTV, cars, women, men, pools, art, etc. All I need is my gear.

What makes sports fun for me is all the stuff you can get. Sometimes you need certain gear (like a tennis racquet or a basketball) in order to play. There are also some extraneous items you carry around: do you really need 3 racquets or 2 baseball gloves or 4 different wedges in your golf bag?

I usually don’t go crazy and get every little thing for every sport, but then again, I play (or have played, at least) many different sports. So I’ve accumulated my share of gear over the years.

The ultimate gear sport, to me, is rock climbing. Ropes, harnesses, carabiners (‘biners), shoes, chalk, cams, straps, backpacks, etc. It’s a gear maniac’s paradise. Camping comes a close second for gear.

Fishing is right up there. You really only need a decent pole, some string (that’s what I call fishing line), a decent reel and some bait or a lure and you are set. I got my initial set up for about 50 bucks. But then I realized I needed (wanted, really) a better reel. More tackle was a must, because I kept losing it in the rocks. When I got better, that meant I needed (wanted) better line. Different weights for different conditions. Tools: needle-nose pliers are a must. The I needed a head lamp. It just goes on and on.

Some of the sports I have gear for:

Tennis: Couple of racquets and some cans of balls
Racquetball: See tennis
Skiing: Skis, boots, poles, coat, gloves, goggles
Golf: Clubs, bag, balls, shoes
Volleyball: Beach ball, indoor ball, shoes (yes, they make volleyball shoes)
Lacrosse: Couple of sticks, balls, cleats
Baseball: Glove, batters gloves, arm bands, eye black, bat, spikes, cleats
Softball: Much the same as baseball, but different bats and cleats
Flag football: Cleats
Basketball: ball, sneakers
Weight lifting: Wrist bands, lifting straps, belt, water bottles
Mountain biking: Bike, toe clips, helmet, water bottle
Hockey: Sticks, pants, shoulder pads, elbow pads, skates (ice and street), shin guards, gloves, helmet, pucks and balls.

Sometimes I feel like Carrie on Sex and the City in that I have different shoes for, like, everything I do. A selection of my footwear (and then I’ll sign off for today):

Golf spikes, rock climbing shoes, lacrosse cleats, softball cleats, baseball cleats, baseball spikes, football cleats, volleyball sneakers, tennis sneakers, cross trainers, trail running shoes, street running shoes, (used to have) clipless mountain bike shoes, rollerblades, hockey rollerblades, ice hockey skates, hiking boots, sandals, ski boots, soccer cleats.

Cheers!

Play Ball!

So who's excited for this year's baseball season? BG, for one! I love April baseball. It's been five months since a meaningful game was played. They've been teasing us with pretend games with split squads for a month and a half. Starting pitchers will finally go more than six inning; maybe.

But who scheduled the Chicago White Sox and the Cleveland Indians to open the season with a night game? It had to be freezing! The opening games are supposed to be about optimism for the coming season for the fans. I can't picture much optimism coming from 40 thousand people sitting outside, freezing in 40-degree weather and rain that is Chicago weather for most of April.

I can understand wanting the World Champions for your opening game, but how 'bout scheduling them against the Angels (in Anaheim--not LA!), or Texas, or Tampa or Minnesota--cold, but indoors?

Well, it's the 2006 season. Let's go Redsox!!